I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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