We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
