I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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