Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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