Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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