If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
