He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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