I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
