Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
