also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
