I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
