Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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