So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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