it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
