there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
