I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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