SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
