the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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