You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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