OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
