Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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