Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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