I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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