I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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