I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Randomize
