My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
