he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
