If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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