So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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