I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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