You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
