drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
