Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm determined to sit on that face.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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