I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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