They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
