You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Randomize
