I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
