How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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