If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
last night I used snow as a chaser
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