Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
