Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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