You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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