you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
