Banned from zoo.
Again?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
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