i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
