I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
