what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
