Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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