Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
