Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
